Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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