Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
