yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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