Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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