The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
