lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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