i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
