I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
This toilet bowl is my home.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
