I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
