yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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