why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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