wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
