i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I FOUND THE LEGS
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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