hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
