we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
