I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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