She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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