I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
