his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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