How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already put on my inside pants.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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