she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Acid is not a monday night drug
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
