Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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