I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
