my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
