I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
