Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
