There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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