actually, I'm a sock model
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
