I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
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I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
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you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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