i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
