Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
