I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
