girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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