well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
