i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
