ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize