Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
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if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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