is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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