Define "chronic" masturbator.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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