Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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