Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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