Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
