i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
