It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
