there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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