I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
