Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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