You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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