You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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