Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
