No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
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She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
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The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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