i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
