so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
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Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
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Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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