I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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