Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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