everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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