How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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