sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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