I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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