I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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