I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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