there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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