omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize