If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She bit a glass in half.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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