she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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