It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
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